To greed, all nature is insufficient

After one philosophy class, which I surprisingly went in to sober, I came to the conclusion that the root of all acts that we commit is none other than greed. In philosophical terms, we call this egoism where the ultimate and definitive aim is one’s own welfare. The thought seems controversial and extreme, to say the least, because humans want to avoid being sucked into the realm of the fifth deadly sin. So why do we not, like all others weeds, proceed to yank them out? This is because we unfortunately prolong this process until we catch a glimpse of the final product. We instead play the innocent characteristic that we like to call the subconscious. We blame it on the involuntary instead of owning up to our actions by realizing that the intention was always present.

We claim to be altruistic people that make sacrifices to benefit the well-being of others. However, the inconvenient truth that our actions are essentially based on our own desires is constantly lurking. But like they say, “ignorance is bliss” and to know that we are driven merely by selfishness is to ultimately know too much. This is because our egocentric characteristics change the essence of every good deed that we perform; it alters the ideal thrill that we rely on with every noble intention. E.g., Recall the time you decided to tell your friend that his girlfriend had cheated on him? In your defense, it was because you truly believed he had the right to know and that it was unfair, to him, to not be aware. On the other hand, you only felt guilty that you had known and had not yet told him. You felt that it was too much of a burden to have that on your chest and in order to escape your asphyxiation - you told him. Am I right, or am I right? Ergo, a person only willingly performs an act based on the primary human condition to execute personal desires; to result in one’s own personal happiness.

Since we are establishing that what we do is based on the subconscious, we must regard that newfound feelings are often based on the subliminal beliefs we had prior to. This is probably true in cases such as: falling in love with your best friend. The attraction was probably evident in your initial meeting and you modestly became their friend to be just that, their friend. Yet, your intuition foresaw the possibility of “becoming more” with that person and by being with them constantly – it became a more practical prospect. You begin showing your desirable qualities such as your loyalty, companionship and your ability to listen with hopes that he/she will change her mind on what you two share. It’s a fixation that the relationship between you and the opposite person will evolve.

What you must understand is that our relationship is meant to be a trampoline, not your safety net. I am here to bounce you back on to your feet when you fall, not catch you. So here, my friend, is where your illusion of our bond ends. This may be long overdue but I'm willing to pay my late fees. Since our dependency on eachother is cynically enough in two completely different ways: it holds a lot of risks that could cause either of us great harm - that being a risk I am not so willing to take. My ego’s hunger may still need to be fed but I refuse to let my animalistic trait take advantage of you, as you do have the desirable qualities I stated above. However, I care for you. Enough that I would rather starve.

xoxOMG.
- SB, my life in an abbrev.