.

That one time where you can't have the last word.
Go screw a cork & cry after consumption

You were never originally from here,
at this rate, you'll stay in the Loner-east end.

/Good Riddance.

Ps. Yes, I am being impulsive.

We're entitled to a few snappages in life:

I just used up one of mine.

I didn't delete anything,

so you can document your food for thought,

that I frankly don't care about anymore.

But for your sake, once again -

copy and paste your posts to a suitcase of your beloved pride.

Travel, travel with your pride and let's see how far that gets you.

PEAAAAACE.

This here is on some truthful shit

“There’s a point in life when you get tired of chasing everyone & trying to fix everything, but it’s not giving up. It’s realizing that you don’t need certain people and their crap."

This is going to be short and sweet.
You all have affected my life in different ways and I’m not going to lie because some of you have made a greater impact than most. Yet I thank each and every single one of you for being there, in one way or another, when I needed you the most. It may seem that I am ungrateful of your friendships, especially now as I have made little to no effort to repair what has been broken. Let me clarify that it is not to say that I care any less. In fact, if you know me well enough you know that I’m just a little passive aggressive when it comes to these types of situations. So behind that entire tough exterior that giggles then says “geeve” is the over-emotional girl that cries when she comes across MSN conversations, reads over our Facebook wall-to-wall or finds an old text message. This is not at all to make you feel sorry for me as I devalue any of your pity; I am merely stating that even with everything said and done – you all still hold significance in my life. One of my first instincts is to call all of you to share every thing that has gone on in my life while I wait on false hope that you will one day take the time to call to inform me of all the things that have happened in yours. I apologize from the bottom of my heart that I let my insecurities, thick-headedness and selfishness drive you all away bringing you to where we are now: a little more than strangers, a lot less than friends. I am writing this to assure you that I have not forgotten about any of you and if you’re reading this, I’m assuming you haven’t forgotten about me either. I am more than willing to put the crazy past behind, I’m looking for a fresh start anyways – if you’re not still upset, you know my number. If you are, I understand but you live & you learn.
I’m sorry.
I miss you.
I love yous.

xoxOMG
- SB, my life in an abbrev.

Mouth Shut

So I have something I’ve been needing to say.
You’ve told me to keep it secret but we both know how bad I am at that so…
•
•
•

“Hello world.
I’m your motherf*cking trouble-maker.”

Yeah, I know you’re reading this.
If you’re looking for any sign of me breaking my vow of silence, I suggest you don’t hold your breath. Have a little faith, kid.

xoxOMG
- SB, my life in an abbrev.

The Epiphany

I have spent the last 6 months of my graduating year dwelling in the unfortunate events that caused my demise that commenced November 2008. I steered clear of relationships in fear that I would be tempted to cheat on a boyfriend of mine which is what happened the first time around and was, in fact, what triggered the set of events to follow. I avoided putting any trust into anyone in fear that I was simply going to get backstabbed – yet again. In my attempts to keep my distance from people I found myself lashing out at every single thing in regards to friends. To show how tough I was? No, it was a means of making a stance that I had had enough of people walking all over me. However, in an effort to become a better person I became my own worst nightmare as I found myself pushing away those I loved the most until I was standing alone. The common denominator in these actions was instigated by such an abstract and intangible thing. In retrospect, I was running away from everything and everyone except for the very instinct that brought me to such a lonely state; my fear. I can’t say I am entirely pleased with myself but this rant would be completely pointless if I were to wallow in my own sorrow instead of getting to my feet to do something about it. So here it is: FCUK FEAR - what I was most afraid of was the prospect of being happy. The law of gravity states, “what goes up must eventually come down” and I found this to be true about most things that brought me joy. It was because of the sudden downfall at the end of every high that caused me to skip out on the super blunts. I have been missing out on the blissful life for the one that consists of more drama because I thrived on it thinking that if I didn’t, it would make me “saaaaaaft”. Thinking that if I did not cause drama, I would be “losing” – and I could not stand the thought of that. Now I’m re-introducing the alter-ego Marie, who some of you are familiar with. Don’t be afraid. She’s back for a different purpose this time; she’s not here to conquer but to help me develop what I lost along the way – strength, strength to pull through this terrible mess I’ve created for myself. A dear friend of mine helped me realize that it’s not about looking behind at the past worrying about how you went wrong but how you’re going to better yourself for the future to come. “It’s not about how you got yourself here but how you’re going to get out.” With this being said, I thought it would be mighty rude of me if I were to not extend my formal goodbyes:
- Goodbye to ex-boyfriends
- Goodbye to crazy (ex)girlfriend(s)
- Goodbye to cheating others / on others
- Goodbye to hookups with friend’s exes
- Goodbye to booty calls
- Goodbye to hysterical, drunk breakdowns
- Goodbye to breakdowns
- Goodbye to abruptly leaving my best friends
- Goodbye to leaving
- Goodbye to being narrow-minded
- Goodbye to enforcing my thoughts on the narrow-minded
- Goodbye to drunk punches to the face
- Goodbye to being the overprotective girlfriend
- Goodbye to being who you want me to be
- Goodbye to apologizing for things I’m not sorry for
- Goodbye to not apologizing for the things that I am sorry for
- Goodbye to highschool drama
- Goodbye to drama, altogether
- Goodbye to the old me
- Goodbye to Summer’08

Here’s to change.
Here’s to smiling.
Here’s to the future.
Here’s to autonomy.
Here’s to happiness.
Here’s to the blissful life.
Here’s to the sweet escape.
Here’s to summer’09.

xoxOMG
- SB, my life in an abbrev.